God's Incredible Gift (02/09/2012)

“You won’t be here in five weeks”, he said. “You may not even be here tomorrow." And then he added, “You might not even be here tonight. We have to do this now!” The expression on his face was one of alarm and grave concern; but I was hesitant and just not ready to trust this determined stranger.

It was our first meeting. My cardiologist was away on vacation and I was scheduled to see him in five weeks for a routine six-month stress test evaluation. However, agonizing and escalating chest pains prompted me to consult the doctor on call, even though I was confident that my heart was not the issue. Just five months prior, after several heart tests, my cardiologist gave me great news: my heart was “pristine” – “a heart of gold” – “the heart of Wonder Woman!” he exclaimed. But now, a new doctor, who had just finished an EKG, wanted to send me immediately to the hospital for an angiogram. His diagnosis was Acute Coronary Syndrome.

Something just wasn’t right.

“How did this come to be?” I silently questioned while lying in the hospital bed of the cardiac care unit and waited for the nurses to do all the necessary things they routinely do for heart patients. I had followed all the rules, kept to a heart healthy diet, exercised, carefully guarded my cholesterol levels, and did everything I was supposed to do - and I was pleased with my efforts. Now, unbelievably, I was counting every grueling heartbeat and labored breath as I waited to be transported to the cath Lab.

As I silently prayed, Isaiah 58:8 came to my mind. It says, “Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.”

I was comforted. God’s word has served me with great wisdom, comfort, and healing in all situations and through every trial of my life. “Continue to guard my heart, Lord” I prayed, “It belongs to You.”

The cath lab was cold but warm blankets covered me and I was at peace. The Creator of all that is was in control. I closed my eyes and after what seemed like seconds, the cardiologist performing the procedure spoke into my ear. “Marie, your stent is 99% blocked with scar tissue and blood clots. We have a decision to make.”

He told me of the options and risks. He could restent or wait and do open heart surgery. 

“This heart belongs to God,” I said, “and He’s not finished with it yet.” I chose to restent even at the great risks that I was told might happen. 

The Sovereign Lord guarded my heart.

A couple of days later, as I stood at the window of my hospital room, gazing out at the gloom of a cloudy and rainy day, I heard a familiar voice behind me. “Marie, what happened to you?!” There was that familiar face that I trusted with all my life - my cardiologist - returned from his vacation.

“”You’re back!” I said with great delight. We had much to talk about. He was just as puzzled as I – if not more so, that this had happened to me. He was surprised to see my name on his list of hospital patients, he said, and when he saw it there, he rushed to look at my records and films. My heart, he explained, had been close to dying; but an extraordinary thing happened. The front part of my heart, where the blockage was, protected itself by going to sleep instead of dying – like in a state of hibernation. 

That was the gift God gave. He gave my heart the ability to protect itself by putting itself to sleep instead of dying! The God of all creation guarded my heart and preserved it!

My cardiologist and I sat together going through my chart. “This should not have happened!” he said. But after exploring my medical records, we discovered the cause of my problem. And it was not of my making. A few short months earlier I’d been taken off one of my heart medications by another doctor because of an adverse reaction. The medication, vital to the well being of my heart, was not replaced with another. The result is that my heart was unprotected and scar tissue built up very rapidly.

All-in-all, it was an extraordinary experience. And the best part is that I was in a situation that presented an incredible gift – God’s mercy and His love in a unique and astounding way!

My cardiologist held my hands in his and said, “You have a book to finish writing!” (My book is a story about God’s redemptive power on multiple levels in a little village called Kodera, Kenya in Africa). I briefly shared the story with my cardiologist several months ago and he remembered. And I remembered that he wants to read the final draft when I finish it. It’s time to get back to work. God's story needs to be told and He has appointed me to tell it. Thank you, Elohim, for keeping a safeguard on my heart and for preserving it for Your purpose.

The Greatest Treasure

During the first retreat day I could hardly wait for some free time to head off into the forest with my camera. That time came shortly after breakfast. Ah! The perfect time! Morning sunlight!

With my camera in hand, I headed off toward the path that led into the woods. At the start of the trail I heard a distant voice behind me calling my name. It was Martine. She needed a forest walking partner and asked if she could come along. Of course she could join me; but I warned her that my focus would be on the flora and fauna of the forest and I wouldn't be a great companion for conversation. That was OK with her. She just didn't want to walk alone.

The forest was everything I had expected and more. We found unexpected treasures scattered along the way - some of which I posted in my photo album titled, "Retreat Center and Treasures in the Forest." The woods were enchanting and I felt richly blessed to be on this journey through yet another of God's wonderful and awesome creations - the dense woods of Rainbow Lodge Retreat Center in North Bend, Washington.

We were in the midst of the thick woods when I suddenly became overwhelmed by the things of the forest. My lungs began to shut down. It happened that quickly and without warning. An avalanche of realities slapped me very hard during that frightening moment. In my eager quest to capture the forest scenes, I had foolishly forgotten some very important facts and issues: (1) I have asthma. (2) I left my inhaler in my backpack which was still at the lodge. (3) My cell phone was also at the lodge and I had no way of calling for help. (4) I have absolutely no sense of direction. I might have gotten lost in the forest if it had not been for Martine who has a very keen sense of direction. 

Martine proved to be of more worth as the seconds dragged by. She saw that I was in trouble and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“My lungs are shutting down,” I gasped. “I have asthma and I left my inhaler behind. 

Martine reached for something in her pocket and produced an albuterol inhaler. “I have asthma too,” she said. Use mine.” 

My airways opened again with the first puff of the inhaler. Relief was only a breath away.

Martine also had her cell phone with her and had walked the forest during the previous day and knew the paths well. We headed out of the forest as soon as I had regained my strength to make the journey. This time, Martine took the lead. However, I was still a bit shaken by the experience and it took a few moments for me to settle back into that place of inner peace.

As we walked across a mossy bridge that spanned a little brook, I spotted a heart-shaped rock on the muddy bank. I pick it up and studied it for a moment. It was covered with mud. Kathy, who had caught up with us on the trail, was closest to the brook so she volunteered to wash the mud from the rock in the icy cold water. Such a loving gesture!

The rock reminded me of the Greatest Treasure that is always with me – even when I do foolish things. That greatest treasure is God’s incredible love, demonstrated in so many ways:

When I wandered off alone in an overly eager quest; and foolishly forgot some very important live-saving factors, He was there watching over me. 

When Martine called my name, He was there giving me a companion to help me through the trouble ahead.

As I struggled with that first labored breath in the woods and when Martine handed me her inhaler, He was there showing His care for me.

When I spotted the rock resting on the bank, He was there teaching me another lesson.

When Kathy washed the mud from the rock in the frigid stream, He was there reminding me that though the mud of life often splatters us He washes us clean again.

There is so much more to this story. I love when God teaches me in these ways and continues to love me and guide me through my foolish times. 

The rock sits on my desk and serves as a reminder of that time in the forest. It’s not a perfect heart-shaped rock. Rough and pitted places dot the surface of the rock and a deep brown scar cuts across its face. But it is beautiful. And as I hold it in my hand, I contemplate its journey - rolling, tumbling, and tossing along rivers, streams, and brooks; and smashing into other rocks that break off pieces at just the right places in order to form it into a heart-shaped rock. This beautiful forest rock could not have been shaped in any other way.

We are each as this rock with its rough and pitted places. We are still being shaped by life’s lessons while being blessed by the greatest treasure of all: God’s amazing love and grace.

Being Faithful In the Smallest Of Tasks

Bein

Nature is the canvas God paints on and I love photographing His work, especially in the early spring when the season begins to awaken the sleeping things of the earth and tiny new leaves and buds begin to appear.

It’s magical!

I’m amazed at how the tiny things begin as infant bulbs that slowly cultivate petite and fragile petals as they grow. I took special care in noticing how new little buds of every growing thing hold their petals together as in a gesture of prayer before opening themselves into full bloom to expose their inner beauty.

We could glean a mighty lesson from nature.

Little buds take days to fully flourish. I’ve spent some time observing them; and as I say this, I envision the tree in front of my house. It is adorned with numerous newborn buds. I’ve been watching and recording their progress in photographs. Some of the buds have blossomed into clusters of tiny delicate yellow flowers. There are several of them on each of the branches. Soon they will mature into leaves and the tree’s seasonal cycle will repeat itself each year until the tree ceases to exist.

I’ve been in this location for a while so I’m privileged to see the changes taking place on this particular tree throughout the seasons of the year. The little yellow flowers become tiny leaves that fill the tree and grow into bigger leaves that provide beauty, shade and housing for the birds of the air, and a frolicking place for the little squirrels. It’s invigorating to watch these exquisite leaves dance, and listen to them sing whenever a gentle air current wafts through their branches. It’s like a chatter of song giving praise to the season of summer sunshine.

Fall enchants me with a glorious display of colorful leaves on the stately tree. I sit on the deck or view this magnificent tree from my patio window and marvel at the spectacular display of gold, red, pink, yellow, green, brown, tan, and lavender leaves quivering in the breeze as gusts of wind snatch them, one by one, from the arms of the tree. They soar on the wind or twirl as a ballerina in a pirouette as they dance along the streets and walkways. And then they are gone forever, never to return again. The same leaves will never return. New ones will come and take their place. We can be sure of this, as long as the tree remains.

We could glean a mighty lesson from nature.

Winter comes too soon. All the leaves disappear, withered, disintegrated, and dissolved into dust that blends itself back into the earth. Then the branches become heavy with snow as soft, cold mounds of white recline on frozen branches and glimmers as sunlight momentarily peeks through the gray cloudy skies. Winter has its own beauty.

After the winter, spring sings in celebration of its return and the cycle begins again with new little buds.

It’s a faithful tree, that extraordinary maple tree in front of my home. It continues to be faithful in all the little tasks that have been assigned to it throughout the seasons of its life; and it isn’t discontent with its assignment, nor does it uproot itself in search of an accomplishment that it might consider to be of greater value. It is content to be a Maple Tree and flourish in the way God intended it to do. And I, for one, am blessed that it exists.

We could glean a mighty lesson from nature.

God’s propose for us, I believe, is to love Him, and to learn from all His creations; and like the maple tree, to be faithful in all the little tasks He assigns to us through every season of our life. By doing so, we bless others; and we are exceedingly blessed in return.

Walking In the Light Of Miracles

Meet Fred, an amazing guy and a cancer survivor - three times in his lifetime. He won the victory over leukemia after a hard battle - twice! Much later, Fred battled and won the victory over non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Fred is an inspiration and an encourager of hope and peace in the midst of life's toughest battles. He tells his story to all who will listen, crediting His Creator for the healing in his life. I saw him briefly while I was in California a few weeks ago. He had to leave for rehearsal so the visit was short. The next visit will be longer. Fred is an accomplished musician and an award winning water-colorist. But more than that, Fred is an amazing guy with an ever-ready smile and and inner joy that spills over to others.

Fred is my cousin.

Looking back on the growing up phase of our life I remember the horse episode most. Fred was ten years young at that time and I was fourteen. He'd selected a horse for me for my very first ride - a horse called Diablo. I didn't know the horse's name when I climbed up on his back, but Diablo lived up to his menacing name. However, I was a determined kid and Diablo didn't get  the best of me. I stayed on that frolicking horse until someone brought him to a halt. Fred got into trouble for selecting Diablo for me to ride but the experience gave me further insight into myself and I gained a greater confidence in my ability to cope with difficult situations. I'm confident that Fred had no malicious intent. He was just being a  ten-year-old with no insight into possible consequences. My belated and much wiser thanks to Fred for that opportunity to gain an important insight into my coping skills.

A more recent example of strength happened a few short weeks ago. I'd been very sick in past months and was getting progressively worse. My strength and energy were gone and I was in pain most of the time. In months past, doctors couldn't seem to locate the source of my progressing symptoms. But now it had a name. One doctor finally looked in the right place and found it. Its name was cancer.

When I was told that I had cancer, that I needed to have surgery, a lengthy hospital stay, radiation therapy, and possible chemotherapy as well. I refused to panic at that shocking news. I remember taking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out as the doctor was busy with a referral to an oncologist. I remembered that this situation was in the control of my Creator and I just needed to claim His peace in the midst of this difficult situation and trust Him in the process.

As I was leaving the doctor's office, he said this to me, "We're sending you to the best place and putting you in the best of hands."

I turned to the doctor and with the greatest of peace and confidence, I replied, "The best hands I'm in are in the hands of my Creator."

It was during that very moment, as the words left my mouth: "...in the hands of my Creator" that I felt a physical change taking place within my body. A gentle source of energy and strength, powerful enough to displace the sickness, was being poured into me. It was an incredible feeling! I knew at that very moment, that the biopsy was going to prove that the cancer was gone. I felt physically strong, spiritually energized, and filled with that powerful peace that passes all understanding - the peace of God.

Because of all the high risk markers (my symptoms, test results, and the doctor's findings) the oncologist had me sign permission papers for surgery and for radiation therapy. I signed the papers, still confident that I had been healed. The oncologist did the biopsy that very day and the report (a few days later) was negative for cancer. I thank God for His Divine healing and for the strength He gave me to trust Him while in the midst of that ordeal.

Today, I continue to experience the healing. I have more energy, strength, and stamina than I had in past months. The pain is gone and all the other symptoms I had have left. Whatever the illness was that I'd had (cancer or otherwise) is healed.

The photograph of Fred and me is one of triumphant joy and gratitude. I'm not new to experiencing God's miracles in my life and I suspect that Fred is no stranger in this area either. As we shared our stories with one another, Fred agreed that we had both been healed of cancer. I believe that there is more work for us to do for God's Kingdom purpose. I look forward to that purpose with great anticipation and excitement as I walk in the Light of God's incredible miracles. He's already put things in place for me and I'm already heading off into that direction. I'll share more of this at another time.

God's Word says,

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). 
I believe this and I have seen the evidence of it.

My life is in your hands

Moving Forward

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I think the stressful things in life happen to test the limits of our souls or to help us see more deeply inside of who we think we are so that we can grow in a different direction if we need to do so. I've learned to be grateful for these growing times, as trying as they are, because I believe that means I’m moving forward -- not sinking helplessly in a stagnate pool of hopelessness.

In spite of the storm, I know that I can make it!

A Most Magnificent Thing

Driving home from a doctor's appointment with several medical test request forms lying on the seat next to me, I found myself feeling discouraged and a little frustrated with life and the misery that illness brings. As I contemplated hosting a small pity party for myself, something gliding overhead and just in front of my view caught my attention. I glanced up, being careful to keep most of my focus on the road ahead as I entered the freeway overpass. It was a dark image flying low and across my path as it headed in a northern direction. At first glance I thought it might be one of the f117 stealth fighter planes because it had a most unusual shape. Then the thing moved its wings and I recognized the mighty wing span and the feathery white head -- a very clear image of a mature bald eagle. I had never seen one of these superb creations outside of captivity -- and especially flying over the city!  It was a most magnificent thing!

Continuing my homeward journey, I thought about the eagle flying across my path. I looked up through my windshield at the blue sky again, hoping to catch another glimpse, but the eagle was no longer in view. It flew across my path so swiftly, so briefly, but the memory is a treasure I will always keep. One legend has it that eagles deliver messages from God. With this in mind, I thought about the many times God sends me His peace and comfort during difficult times. The Sovereign Lord had, again, reminded me that there is nothing outside of His control as this scripture from His Holy Word came to my thoughts: "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31) NIV.


As I let go of the discouragement and frustration that bound me like a heavy chain wrapped around my chest, my heart began to sing the song, "It Is Well With My Soul," and my spirit began to soar with renewed strength.

For more information about bald eagles go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bald_Eagle

Philip Yancey On Prayer