Scattering Seeds: Discovery One

Scattering Seeds...

SCATTERING SEEDS.

Settling into a comfortable chair, I took a small sip from a cup of steaming aromatic tea. It comforted me as I gazed out the window of the little tea shop. Only minutes ago the sun illuminated the landscape, brightening the rain soaked places that sparkled in the sun. All too soon, however, the accumulation of rain clouds rolled across the sky and closed it up again and the earth darkened.

This was a pensive morning. I had just left a friend who shared deep sorrow -- sorrow so deep that she was still wrapped in the raw pangs of it and unable to accept comfort. I thought about her shattered life and continued looking out the window with thoughts about sorrow and suffering and what we do with it as it shapes our lives. That's when I decided to create this blog. It's a combination of various stories of heartbreak and sorrow in my own life and how I got through each day, each moment, and every second of those wounded times now healed. And so the title, Scattering Seeds. I scatter little seeds of hope and pray that you will be encouraged in your own journey as you read my writings.

One thought comforts me. It's in the lowest valley of humility where we find God's comfort; in the darkest shadow of the mountain where we experience His peace; in climbing the dusty journey up the mountain where we know His power and His strength. Then we are given His vision for that which we can become in His design.

Photo description: A sun-break after the rain.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Discovery One

Several, if not all, of my friends are struggling with past painful issues. I hurt for them. I've been where they are -- but it's been so long ago. After asking myself how I can help them in their journey of pain, an inspiration came to me this morning. Having walked that valley of pain, I can write about my discoveries and recoveries and share them here. Hopefully, my stories might provide a form of encouragement for someone who is walking that path of discovery.

So here it is, Discovery One:

It’s been several years since I made a significant breakthrough that began the process of changing my life. For many years, I used to say, “I don’t need people in my life.” Interesting thing to say, isn’t it? I never gave it a thought until that fateful day.

It was in the early 1980s when I discovered the wounded child. I was out for one of my daily walks and spotted a bookstore along my usual route. I hadn’t noticed the bookstore before, but being an avid reader I walked into the store to investigate. All the books and literature on display were about dysfunctional families and drug and alcohol addictions. The word “dysfunction” caught my attention. I heard that word while scanning for stations on my car radio just the day before and wondered what it meant. I found it fascinating that I’d been hooked by a word and I wanted to know more. Though I can't remember where I read this or who said it, the statement has much wisdom and definitely applied to me at that specific moment: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I think I reached the point of readiness that day.

As I flipped through the pages of several books in the bookstore I saw bits and pieces of myself in every book I opened. An undeniable pain began to surface. I fought the tears, got angry at them, tried to choke them back, and felt a dreadful anguish struggling to escape. It was a battle I thought I’d loose, but I’d been trained very well in holding back tears, so the only thing that escaped was a very distressed sob.

After that, I was composed and in control once again. But, what on earth was that anguish about?

Story to be continued….