Discovery and Recovery

It isn’t so important to write about the details of my discoveries on the way to healing the inner child as it is to acknowledge that recovery is possible, and most importantly, it is attainable. The time frame for this process is however long it takes; and the journey is one that is taken with courage, strength and trust. Opening the door of one’s soul to walk through past storms is never easy. Storms can be severe and frightening. Ah! But there is so much to learn in a storm! I began that inward journey with great determination, jumping in with both feet on the way to becoming real. Those who know me describe me as one who is very much in touch with my feelings. Being “in-touch” was a gift that blessed my efforts and brought timely discoveries that led to effective recovery. Long forgotten wounds that had festered for a time were opened, grieved, cleansed and healed.

The wounded past waits to be discovered. Everyone has one. That marred period of time is destined to be relived and anxious to be healed. Think about a garden where weeds abound. Look at the garden and visualize how beautiful it can be with an array of flowering plants, shrubs, fruit and shade trees, and maybe even a fish pond or a fountain. Now look at the all the weeds. The weeds, if not removed, will eventually take over the entire garden and sabotage all attempts to grow flowers. If we grow a garden full of weeds, all we have to give away are weed stalks that have weed seeds attached to them; and the weed seeds germinate in other gardens; and the cycle continues.

Gardens are completely dependant on those who care for them. We are the keepers of our garden. Some keepers never see the weeds. Others work to keep the garden as free as possible of weeds. But we all know the resilience of weeds. They come back! The work is a continuous event. Then there are others who see the weeds but leave them in the soil and bitterly complain. Weeds flourish in gardens such as these. Using this analogy, here’s what I see happening in a weed garden: The bitterness stick strikes the stink weed that fills the garden with a putrid stench that causes the angry plant to spew out venomous thorns that strike the hurt plant that cries acid tears that terrifies the fear plant that emits a cloud of poisonous gas… and any flower left in the garden withers and dies.

What happened during that time of weeding that helped me through that process of discovery and recovery? How was I able to walk through those terrible storms again and have the courage to open closed doors to explore the places that I’d kept hidden? What was it that gave me the strength and endurance to continue weeding a garden with weeds?

The story continues…